All My Love, Always

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.

I'm 20 years old. I don't know a lot about love. I probably know very little. But, I do know that I have been in love. I felt love and I have seen love. I've been comforted by love and hurt by love. I'm still in love.

I met my first love at my college orientation. I was having a horrible time. I was stressed. I was ready to go home. I didn't want to go to college anymore. But he saw me. He understood me. He reached out and made sure I had a great night. Even now, everything about that first night together was perfect. I think we both knew then that our paths were destined to cross, as cliche as that sounds. I couldn't be where I am without him, and I'm so thankful for the time that he was in my life. But, I am no condition to tell our love story quite yet. Instead, I'm going to share what I've learned about love. What it looks like, or what I think it should be like.

One of the hardest lessons I've learned so far is that love is different for everyone. People have difference definitions of it based on their experiences and upbringings. But to me, love is...

Showing up without being asked. Putting your partners needs above your own. (This doesn't mean neglecting your own needs. But when both parties do it, both needs are met). Including them in your life. They should know their place and their importance. Communicating first and always. Listening to understand, not to respond. Sometimes, words aren't even necessary because you just get each other so well. Anything can become an adventure or a "date" when you're out together. They're your person - your best friend - who you can tell anything to without hesitation.

Love is being vulnerable. Open. Honest. Even when it's hard. Especially then. You make mistakes and grow from them together. It's respecting concerns and desires, even if you don't completely understand them. Even if you go to bed angry, you know that they will be there in the morning and everything will be okay.

It's the little things. Holding hands. Subconsciously wrapping your arm around them. Kissing them goodbye, every day, always. Saying "I love you" before hanging up the phone. Putting up with the bad moods and knowing what to do make them better. And, of course, so much more.

Love is messy. It's never perfect. But it's always there and it's always unconditional. It's always certain. With love, you always feel safe and secure. If you can see a future without that person and it doesn't terrify you, it's not love.

And of course, I couldn't go without bringing up the verse that we've all heard at some point in our lives - most likely at a wedding.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It is not every sappy love song that you hear on the radio. It is so much more. So much deeper. And so much more beautiful.

I don't know where my life will take me next. I don't know the end to my epic love story. I just don't, as much as I wish I did. But rather it's the ending I want, or the ending I've yet to see, there's one thing I'm certain of. I love love. I love being in love. I love giving love and showing love. Even in a place of brokenness now, I say with certainty, that there is no better feeling than the feeling of love. And I'm eager for the day to come when all the pieces fit together and it's simple. It's love. And of course, it never fails.