Living in Fear: The Gun Violence Edition

"Don't let fear keep you inside!"

"We shouldn't let fear keep up from our lives."

When the pandemic struck the nation, these were words I heard often. People were encouraging those who were obeying CDC rules and protecting themselves from COVID to go out anyways, because what was a life if it was lived in fear?

I always thought that was a little (or maybe a lot) ignorant.

But you know what - that's actually a really good point. What good is a life if it's lived in fear? If you feel like you have to stay inside because you're scared to go out?

But I'm not applying that logic to COVID (that's a whole other discussion). This conversation isn't about COVID because even as the numbers drop and the vaccinated population rises, I am still absolutely terrified to go out.

In fact, I dreaded the end of quarantine because I knew a certain other fear would come creeping back as I began to go out in the public again.

There have been 336 mass shootings this year to date. That's an average of 2 a day. 10,318 people have died by gun violence (Hart, 2021).

I'm not alone in my fear. As of 2019, even before the more recent spike in violence, a poll "indicated one-third of U.S. adults are so stressed by the prospect of mass shootings that they avoid visiting certain places or attending certain events" (Chan). There's an entire forum online of people discussing their odds of being involved in a shooting.

So let's be real. Fear kept people inside long before - and will continue to longer after - COVID. And if you have the ability to not let fear "control" you, then kudos to you. I, on the other hand, am very aware that I'm only 21. That I'm likely to see the gun violence rates continue to climb during my lifetime. That I should be afraid.

There's no catchy saying or change of mindset that is going to erase the very real possibility.

On July 3, my sister and I went to a local celebration at Patriot Park. We really just went for the food, and didn't stay long after we saw the lines. As I looked around at the swarm of people and the lawn chairs surrounded the stage where concerts would take place later, all I could think about was that this would be a perfect opportunity for a shooter. And that I'd have no where to go. Later that night, we went to Gatlinburg for the midnight parade and to watch fireworks. I was relieved when we decided to go back to the car and sit and watch from there instead. If a gunman entered the scene, it would take a beat before anyone recognized the shots over the sound of the fireworks.

These are the thoughts that run through my head no matter where I'm at. When I used to go to Planet Fitness in Indianapolis, I remember walking on the treadmill one day looking around for an escape plan in case someone came in. There wasn't one.

Even thought I got home safely on July 3, without even a scare, I had a nightmare that night that I was involved in a shooting.

Maybe to you that sounds a little overly anxious, and maybe it is to an extent. But I have grown up during a time in which mass shootings are becoming more and more frequent to the point where I'm sure you had no idea just how many there had been this year.

I'm taking a trip to NYC next week, where the governor has just issued the nation's first gun violence disaster emergency. And I'm nervous. But I'm also nervous in my hometown. I'm nervous at the grocery store.

So, what good is life if you're forced to stay inside because of fear? I urge the same people who pushed that agenda so hard during COVID to think about it again now.

"We shouldn't let fear keep us from our lives," is in fact an ignorant statement. Fear will keep us from our lives until the population can walk the streets, go shopping at the mall, and attend a concert without searching for an escape, watching everyone skeptically, and wondering if going to this event will prevent them from ever going home again.

A life lived in fear isn't a good one, no. But it's the reality of our situation.

Sources:

Chan, M. (Aug 16, 2019). How likely is the risk of being shot in America? It depends. TIME. Retrieved from https://time.com/5476998/risk-of-guns-america/

Hart, R. (July 6, 2020). Fourth Of July weekend saw highest number of mass shootings than any other weekend in 2021. Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/roberthart/2021/07/06/fourth-of-july-weekend-saw-highest-number-of-mass-shootings-than-any-other-weekend-in-2021/?sh=2ff70915350d