What to do When it is Time to Move On

I've said it once and I'll say it again: There is no timeline for healing.

You know that you'll have to move on, eventually. You know that that's the end goal. Moving on might mean being with someone new, but it mostly just means being able to let go. It means you don't hate them, but you don't love them either. It means you can think about the past as what it was, and nothing else. You want the best for them. You want the best for you.

It means you are living your life is the present now, not living it consumed by the thoughts of them - both the good and bad ones.

It wasn't until long after I discovered my worth or until long after I realized he isn't and shouldn't come back until I felt like I moved on. Why did it take so long?

I held onto the pain because it was all I had left of him. If I let go of the pain, I'd lose my only connection to him. So I let it hurt. I chose to stay stuck because, somehow, that was easier than destroying that connection.

Next month will mark one year since I ran away to Tennessee to give him space to get himself together. It's almost been one year since I knew it was over. That's how long it has taken me to move on. And that's okay.

When it's finally time and you're finally ready to let go, you'll know. After we broke up, I streamed the song "You Were Good to Me" by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler on repeat. I've avoided it since then, but the other day I let it play. And I laughed. The song that used to make me sob brought a smile to my face. I heard those lyrics and remember he was, in fact, not good to me, but that's okay. It was okay.

That's when I knew. I didn't want to feel the hurt anymore. I was ready to let go of that hurt, even if it meant letting go of my last connection to him.

When I was looking through my camera roll recently, I noticed something. I never smiled this much when I was with him.

When I came across something from him addressed to "future wifey," I felt confused that there was ever an us that thought we would marry.

When his birthday passed a few days ago, I was grateful I wasn't apart of it. I'd long been dreading the day he turned 21.

My point is, I came to realize that the grip that he had around my heart had greatly faded. All I had to do was take that last step.

When it's time to move on, you'll know. You'll be able to find the strength. And the feeling of freedom that comes after... well, that's something you'll have to experience for yourself.

You can let go. You don't have to hurt anymore. You can cut off that final string that connects him to you. It's never too late to start over. So, take your time. And when you're ready, move on.