An Open Letter to the Boy Who Loves Me Next

There are so many days where I almost wish I was the type of person who just didn't believe in/seek for love... but let's be honest. I'm just not. I'm still a strong, independent woman who doesn't NEED a man, but I deserve one. A good one. So, this one is for him... whoever he is.

1. I'm really, really sensitive.

But you'll learn to love it. Sure, it can be frustrating sometimes, but it's actually one of my best features. If I see a penny that's tails up, I'll flip it to heads up so that the next person can have good luck. I slam on my breaks for butterflies and birds. And yeah, I cry a lot. And easily. And sometimes over stupid stuff. But I love deeply. It's a blessing. You'll see.

2. I'm easy to please.

The silliest and simplest of things make me happier than you could imagine. I mean, if you want to plan a spectacular, magical date, I definitely won't turn you down. But for me, it's always the small things. Car rides where you play a song that reminds you of me. My favorite chocolate from the store. Picking me a wildflower because I said it was pretty. If you think it's lame, I'll probably think it's amazing.

3. I'm passionate.

I'd love to sit here and pretend to be laid back and care-free, but that'd be a lie. When I care about something or someone, I'm all in. My job. My values. My friends and family. You. I'm not just passionate on the down low, though. It shows. It's normally a good thing... until someone attacks journalism on Facebook... and I get my feelings hurt. Good luck with that one.

4. I'm not shy.

Please never introduce me as shy. Am I quiet? Sometimes. But that's not because I'm shy. That's because I want to make sure I'm with people that can be trusted to know me. I actually really love to talk, I just need to feel safe first. I've been in too many situations where my presence wasn't valued.

5. Communication is everything to me.

One of the biggest relationship lessons I've learned thus far is that my expectations mean nothing if I don't communicate them. As much as I'd love for you to just be able to read my mind, I know that you can't. So I'll communicate the best I can. All I ask is for the same. Listen and try to understand when I talk. Tell me what you're feeling. Thinking. I crave communication. With me, it means a lot.

6. I'm trying to make you proud.

I've got a lot of motivation and drive. It comes from within me and I will always be the one pushing myself the hardest. But deep down, as much as I want to make myself proud, I really just want to make you proud. If I can make you feel happy to show me off and brag about me and all that I am and am doing, I'll know that I'm doing well. It might seem like I already know that I'm doing well and am plenty confident without that validation, but just know, it's so important to know that you're proud.

7. I have a lot of personalities.

That is, my mood and atmosphere can change me. Sometimes I'm really relaxed and just want to sit outside in silence. Sometimes I'm energetic and I like to dance around my room. Sometimes I'm really goofy (especially when I'm sleepy). Sometimes I'm a girly-girl. Sometimes I'm not. My music tastes is... diverse, to say the least. To be honest, I'm not sure which version of myself is present the most. But I'm always still me. I hope that you can appreciate all these parts of me. Even, or especially, the parts that aren't as much fun.

8. I know my worth.

I lost sight of my worth once. You'll hear that story, one day. A lot has happened, and though I wish it hadn't, it's helped me find a better a me. It's been a long and painful journey to find my worth again. But I have. And I will never settle for less. I will never let someone take that from me again. Choose me, or lose me. I demand respect, love and honor. I'll give the same.

9. Change is hard.

For most, a major change is moving states. For me, a major change can be as simple as having to take a new route without notice because part of the road is closed. I've been working really, really hard on being more accepting of change. I'm getting there. But still know that even the slightest of changes can greatly affect me. Please be patient. I'm trying.

10. I'm glad you exist.

Writing this now, I have no idea who the boy who loves me next will be. But I'm happy that you're out there. I'm excited to meet you. Here's to us and all that we will be.

All my love,

Always.