An Open Letter to the Girl Who Loves Him Next

To the girl who loves him next,

I learned a lot about love from him. I learned a lot about him. About myself. This is what you should know.

1. Be patient.

It will take him a long, long time to open up to you. I knew him for nearly 2 years, and I'm sure there's still so much that I never learned. It's hard for him to trust and be vulnerable. You'll understand why later. So, be patient. He will tell you when he's ready. Don't force it.

2. Tell him that you're proud of him.

And mean it. Never use it lightly. He might not admit it, but those words are the most powerful words that you could say to him. He will always feel like he's falling short, but you already know that he's not. Even when things are going poorly for him, tell him you're proud. Show him that you're proud. He won't tell you this, but you're his most important supporter.

3. Be independent and confident.

Of course, you should do these things for yourself. But, he will love that about you. Once you're in love, it becomes easy to rely on the other person for everything. Don't. Lean on him, of course, but be your own person. He will admire your strength. He wants you to branch out on your own. He will always hype you up and support you. Show him how much that means to you, but also show him how good you are on your own.

4. Care about what he cares about.

For me, this meant video games. It might mean something else for you. I always think I should've made more of an effort to learn to play and be involved in that part of his life. If he wants you to watch, then watch. Don't complain. If he can go shopping with you, you can spend awhile watching him do something he enjoys.

5. Dates can be anything.

If he takes you to a department store at 7 p.m. and you walk around for hours doing absolutely nothing but still having fun, that's a date. If you make dinner together and sit down to watch some TV, that's a date. He likes the simple adventures. The quality time. Appreciate it. Tell him you appreciate it. It might not what you expected, but you'll love those silly "dates" too.

6. Don't take simple gestures for granted.

He's not great with words, but that doesn't mean he's not thinking about you and caring about you. Pay attention to the small things he does and acknowledge them. When he opens your car door, when he picks up your favorite chocolate at the store, when he calls you while he's driving, when he moves you so that he's walking by the road, when he brings you a Gatorade because you're feeling sick... these are all simple things he does. They might not seem like a big deal, but they are. Notice them. Thank him.

7. Give him space.

He won't ask for it. He'll tell you that he doesn't want to be alone. But give him space anyways. Meet up with your friends. Spend some time alone. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

8. Listen and never yell.

Arguments are inevitable. But don't just explode with emotions. Tell him your concerns and then give him a chance to talk. Really listen to what he says, not just what you want to hear/think you will hear. Most importantly, never yell. He hates yelling. It'll just make things worse. Just talk. He will care about what you have to say and respond positively if you handle the argument with grace. Not every conflict or disagreement needs to be a fight.

9. Know that he's easy to love.

Even when he's hard to love, even on his bad days, he's still easy to love. There's just something special about him. You'll never feel like he's a burden. You'll always want to give him love, reassurance and understanding. If he's having a bad day, he might not be the nicest. But because he's easy to love, you'll still do all those things... and it will pay off. Let him have his bad day, and tomorrow he will thank you for loving him through it. Don't let him feel hard to love, ever. He's not. He just needs time.

10. And, if you ever worry about me, don't.

I'll never come between you. From the moment that he left, I've been praying that he finds the happiness he went in search for. I hope that that's you. I hope that you're everything he never knew he needed. I hope you're good to him. I hope he's good to you. From the bottom of my heart, I've always only wanted the best for him.

If you're lucky enough to be the girl who loves him next, marvel in every moment. Appreciate the good and the bad. Fall. He will catch you. And then, never let go.