Connecting and Communicating in a Digital Age

Playwright and political activist George Bernard Shaw said, “the single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Communication, personal or digital, is human connection. It allows people understand each other, learn about each other, and value each other. Without communication, personal and professional relationships and endeavors will fail.

I communicate with my classmates and teachers daily. I text my mom and keep her up to date. My sister calls whenever she can. I meet face-to-face with my friends so I can get an accurate idea on how things are going for them.

The thing about communication is, is that no matter how hard I try, I still constantly fail.

I agree with Shaw in that one of the more common causes of failure is that the communication just doesn’t happen – or, it doesn’t happen like it should. I don’t think that it’s the biggest problem, though. Communication should be honest and two-way, and this fails when emotions take over. I’ve found that when my emotions are too strong, I don’t say what I mean and I’m too focused on what I’m saying to listen to the response. That’s not communication. That’s venting.

Communicating isn’t talking or replying. It isn’t just conversation. It’s listening to understand. It’s what provides clarity in confusion. Most importantly, good communication happens when both parties aren’t just listening to the words, they’re listening to what’s not said and listening to the body language backing the words.

It’s hard. Though much communication in today’s age takes place through digital medias, like text messaging or social media messaging, it is still hard. It’s actually harder for me to communicate digitally than in person, surprising to me, an introvert. So, why is it harder? Because the ability to see the other person’s reaction and actions improves interpretations and enhances understanding of their point of view.

I’ve been in a relationship – my first adult relationship – for a year. One of the things we struggle most with, but work the most on, is communication. We both understand the to be a successful team, we need to be good communicators. When we find that we are failing, we bring up a conversation about it and discuss how we can improve.

While I’m proud of how far we’ve come in our communication abilities, I’ve noticed that we do much better when we are together. Over the summer, we were two hours apart. Up until then, we’d been together nearly every day. This impacted our communication in ways I hadn’t expected. There were lots of misunderstandings and delayed communication. We knew that to be successful, we’d have to talk face-to-face. We did this through FaceTime calls and frequent visits.

It’s harder to effectively communicate in the digital age when you can just send a text. A text gets the information across to the other person, but it’s too straightforward and impersonal. It doesn’t leave room for a true discussion, as replies aren’t always the timeliest, and leaves a lot open to interpretation based on how the receiver understands the message.

Digital communication is convenient and does have a purpose. It allows employees to speak with their bosses outside of work and lets people who live far apart find a medium to connect on. It’s an outlet for urgent messages to be spread. I argue, though, that digital communication is not enough to form a strong relationship. I said before that communication is human connection.

Is digital connection really human connection?

Maybe it depends on the person. For some, maybe they can form a bond with someone without ever seeing them in person. Maybe they know how to interpret other people through their words alone. Maybe timely discussion isn’t as important as sharing and receiving important messages.

For me, though, I need personal communication to succeed in both my personal and professional life. I need to be able to ask questions and receive immediate feedback to further my understanding. I need to read body language. I need to share my own body language.

Communication is a skill I work on every day. To truly achieve personal, digital, and professional success, I think it’s something that I – and everyone – should continue working on every day. Because the truth is, communication is never perfect, but it can always be better.