What I Know Now and What I Wish I'd Known Then

Thanks to all the college-credit course I took in high school, I’m three semesters into my college career, but I only have two more left before I graduate. I’m a second-year student that is almost a senior. I’m about to enter the “real” world after just a short time in college.

The first time I met with my adviser, I was at orientation. I wasn’t even officially a student yet, and she immediately told me I could graduate in under three years, if I wanted. I told her I absolutely wanted that. The thing is, orientation was overwhelming for me. I felt alone, confused, and like I couldn’t do it. I had already given up. The finances, the people, the many buildings – it was all too much. I told my parents I didn’t want to stay at orientation, and I didn’t want to go to college anymore. I’d worked hard in high school just so I could get into a good college, and I was about to throw it away. My plan, at the time, was to make it through the day, cry the entire drive home, and then figure out a new plan for my future. This life wasn’t for me.

But then, they let me meet my adviser. She helped me schedule classes for my first semester. She gave me the good news that my high school work paid off. Because of all my prior credits, I could enroll in journalism classes right off the bat. I got to take the classes I wanted during the times I wanted. For the first time, I felt excitement. I realized what college could be and what it could do for me.

Obviously, I chose to go college. Yes, I still cried a lot in the weeks before and after my move. Yes, I was still terrified. Yes, I was still overwhelmed and confused. But I’m happy to say – to put it simply – I’m thriving and I’m happy.

Meeting with my adviser wasn’t the only good thing to come out of orientation. Despite my emotional vulnerability, a certain someone took an interest it getting to know me. That certain someone is now my best friend and my boyfriend. We weren’t dating when I moved to college, but we were in contact, and having at least one person I was at least somewhat comfortable was important in me adjusting to being away from my family. Even now, during my second year living in Indianapolis, he still gets me through times when I’m homesick or overly stressed.

I also have my own apartment now. It’s nice to have a place to make my own (and a place that has air conditioning). For the first time, I feel like I can call Indianapolis my home. Having my own place has been amazing, but what has truly made it great is my roommate. We barely knew each other when we made the last-minute decision to find a place together, but now she has my back 100% of time. We watch movies, text during the day even when we will see each other later in the evening, and my personal favorite – we build giant forts that encompass our living room.

Unlike high school, I have no problem getting up every morning to go to school. Why? Because I enjoy it. My classes are hands-on and engaging. I learn and talk about topics that are important to me as a journalist and as a person. I like going to class, and my grades reflect this (at least, so far). I found a few organizations to be particularly involved in. I spend my weekends relaxing or hitting my favorite spots downtown.

The point I’m trying to make is that there are bad days and hard days, but things are honestly going well for me. I’ve found my place. It’s almost funny for me to look back now on those days when I thought I couldn’t do it and when I didn’t even want to try. Looking back now, I realize that are some things I wish I’d known before I started college – the things I know now but needed to know then. I’m 19 years old and don’t have a lot of grounds for claiming wisdom, but here is what I do know:

1. The adults that tell you its “all downhill from here” have no idea what your life will be like. To some, this phrase might just be a cliché. To me, it sent the mindset for me as I entered the next phase of my life. It is not all downhill. It is whatever you make it to me.

2. There’s a lot of pressure to make friends. There’s pressure to make friends with anyone and everyone and to step out of your comfort zone to do it. That’s not really how it works. There are people who are a good fit for your personality and your needs. Others are not. Not everyone will want to be your friend, and not everyone should. It will fall into place, and the people who are like you will somehow just end up by your side. For me, I didn’t really find friends until I stopped trying so hard to look for them.

3. Not everyone will have the same college experience. Some people will party all the time, some will study all the time, some will find a happy medium, and some will do neither. The point is, there is no reason to reinvent yourself just because you’re in college. If you like who you are, keep being you.

4. Your best is all you can give. It’s that simple.

College isn’t what I expected it to be. It is not the image I built in my head. I’m sure by the time I graduate, I’ll have a new list of things I wish I knew. But I’m learning. I’m growing.